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The picture says it all… April 25, 2017

Posted by Farzana Naina in Cultures, Funnies.
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Why Newton commited Suicide…! November 6, 2007

Posted by Farzana Naina in Funnies, Random.
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Newton, the father of Physics committed suicide. Why? Here is the reason.
 
Once,
Newton came to India and watched a few Tamil movies that had his head spinning.  He was convinced that all his logic and  laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.
 
In the movie of Rajanikanth,
Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes:
 
1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can’t be cured and his death is imminent.  In one of the fights, our great Rajanikanth is shot in the head.To everybody’s surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajanikanth!
 
2) In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife.
 
Guess, what he does…
 
He throws the knife at the middle gangster… & shoots the bullet towards the knife.  The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which   kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.
 
3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster.  Rajanikanth has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess, what he does.  Nah… not even in your remotest imaginations.
 
He waits for the gangster to shoot.  As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun.  Bang… the gangster dies…
 
This was too much for our
Newton to take!  He was completely shaken and decided to go back.  But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn’t changed. Oops, not so fast!
 
The ‘climax’ finally arrives.
 
Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth can’t jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use.   Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain because it’s the climax. (
Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible…)
 
Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets.  He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air.  The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.
 
Newton commits suicide …

Why God Made Moms? October 24, 2007

Posted by Farzana Naina in Funnies, Random.
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mother_praying.jpgchoza.gif

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions: Why did God make mothers?
1. She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.


How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me.  He just used bigger parts.



What ingredients are mothers made of ?

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and  one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men’s bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.


Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We’re related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s moms like me.


What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.


What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background d. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?


Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world.  And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.


Who’s the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad’s such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.


What’s the difference between moms & dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power ’cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend’s.
4. Moms have magic; they make you feel better without medicine.


What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don’t do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.


What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she’s already perfect.  Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Dye it. You know her hair. I’d dye it, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean.  I’d get rid of that.
2. I’d make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.