Men January 5, 2008
Posted by Farzana Naina in Funnies, Random.Tags: Funny
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Men are like…..Coffee
The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.Men are like…..Commercial s.
You can’t believe a word they say.Men are like…..Computers
Hard to figure out, and never have enough memory.Men are like…..High heels.
They’re easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.
Men are like…..Lawn Mowers.
If you’re not pushing one around, then you’re riding it.
Men are like……Lava lamps.
Fun to look at, but not all that bright.
Men are like…..Laxatives.
They irritate the shit out of you.
Men are like…..Mini skirts.
If you’re not careful, they’ll creep up your legs.
Men are like…..Noodles.
They’re always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.
Men are like…..Plungers.
They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom.
Men are like…..Popcorn.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
Men are like…..Placemats.
They only show up when there’s food on the table.
Men are like…..Snowstorms .
You never know when he’s coming, how many inches you’ll get, or
how long he will last….
Men are like…..Used Cars.
Both are easy-to-get, cheap, and unreliable 
Eric is sitting at the bar staring morosely into his beer.
Tom walks in and sits down. After trying to start a conver-
sation several times and getting only distracted grunts he
asks Eric what the problem is.
“Well,” said Eric, “I ran afoul of one of those women’s
questions women ask. Now Im in deep shit at home.”
“What kind of question?, asked Tom.
“My wife asked me if I would still love her if when she was
old, fat and ugly.”
“That’s easy,” said Tom. “You just say ‘Of course I will’”.
“Yeah”, said Eric, “That’s what I did, except I said, ‘Of
course I DO….’”
Why God Made Moms? October 24, 2007
Posted by Farzana Naina in Funnies, Random.Tags: Funny, Mum
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Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions: Why did God make mothers?
1. She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of ?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men’s bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We’re related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s moms like me.
What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background d. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.
Who’s the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad’s such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
What’s the difference between moms & dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power ’cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend’s.
4. Moms have magic; they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don’t do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Dye it. You know her hair. I’d dye it, maybe blue. If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of that.
2. I’d make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
